Monster Jam!

When all is silent, nothing to be heard,and then suddenly a booming noise echoes through the world like a ripple ,you know where the noise is coming from! Now don’t get embarassed and blame the children it’s nothing to do with them!It’s the ‘Monster Jam, crew.”Who” you might be saying, well this is the story of Blob,Dounghut and doo-doo!

“Another boaring day of Monster University ,what should we do?”exlaimed Blob.
“I don’t know, maybe we should go and steel little old ladies handbags!”chuckled Dounghut pleadingly.
“Why?we did that yesterday and plus that isn’t very nice to do every day!”
“Well I only like doing it because I like the goo flavoured suck sweets they keep in their handbags”said Doughnut as he licked his lips!
“I know what we should do, we should be in a band!”shouted Blob,that will give us something to do!
Even though Dounght loved the sound of this and it would surley stop them from being to boared,well could he bare the sound of Blob’s terrible voice: it sounded like Mrs Laa-Laa’s slime beetle when she forces it to eat chocolate! Cautiously ,to hide his feelings about Blobs painfully bad singing, he asked “Well won’t we need another person?”.
“Well yes I think we may need another person,I’m going to have a nap you can find them!”Blob yawned.

Quietly and cautiously, confident and ecxited, Dounught made his way along the lifeless coridor to the hall where Monters from all over Monstropolist, mainly Scare Town, gathered for important announcements.Feeling slightly worried he nudged his way into the crowd. Like a moviestar he pranced up on stage and stood there awkwardly until Sull(the sound man) gave him a microphone!”Hel..lo” he stuttered,”I am here to announce that there will be auditions for one more person to join a band”.Questions got thrown at him all at once and he couldn’t understand most of them!He couldn’t handle this, he was freeking out.Suddenly he plucked up the courage and whispered”I will be putting posters up tomorrow and they will have all of the details on!”
The next day Blob and Doughnut printed of some posters they read:Auditions for a new member of a band. Then in bigger print it read:Only come if you are a monsterific drummer or singer.Doughnut thought he should write singer just in case Blob decided he was the singer!

Day after day people came and auditioned but none of them seemed to blow the horns of Doughnut and Blob,they needed a bit more pazaz! One day a little weedy monster named Doo-Doo came(yes I know a very funny name but thats not the point). He blew the horns and the scales of them.He was perfect!They didn’t need to see anyone else. It was official, Doo-Doo was the new singer.Thank goodness for that Doughnut thought!
Weeks past and finally after sweat,tears and determination they went to number one in the carts with their first hit single ‘Why We Steal Old Ladies Handbags’!
Now you know where the noise comes from!

Category: 500 Word Competition  Tags:
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
12 Responses
  1. Sophie says:

    Hi Ellie
    WOW! What a brilliant piece of work!
    Here are my two stars and a wish:
    * I like your punctuation
    * I like your openers
    WISH: Perhaps next time read it through and check your spelling
    But over all a brilliant piece of work! 🙂

  2. Ellie W says:

    Sorry Mr Holder, I was doing it on my laptop and I don’t have spell check! I have got it now though so hopefully my spelling will be better in my next piece of writing!

  3. Rachel says:

    Wow Ellie , this work is really good.

    • Ellie W says:

      Thank you Rachel for my comment, I really tried hard on this piece of work and I tried to make it slightly funny!:)

  4. Lucy S says:

    Hi Ellie this a great story here are two stars :
    *You have some great puntuation,
    *It give you a good image in your mind,
    This is very good and would like to hear more of your storys !

    • Ellie W says:

      Sorry Lucy I didn’t see your comment. Thank you for my two stars have you got a wish for me to work on?

  5. Grace says:

    WOW ,Well done Ellie this a really good peice of work!
    It was very imaginative and unusual i also like the word choices you have used it has had a really good impact on me as a reader.
    WISH: Yes i agree with Govind you have made a few spelling mistakes but that doesn’t matter because it was fantastic. Keep producing work like this Ellie you are a very talented wirter! 😀

    • Ellie W says:

      Thank you Grace ,I really tried hard on this work and I thought your comment was really nice! Thank you!:)

  6. Ellie W says:

    Thank You Govind! You know my spelling, it is not exactly the best!

    • Govind says:

      Ha ha!! You’ve got that right!! 😀 Ha ha ha!!

    • Mr Holder says:

      Hi Ellie! A little tip. If it’s spelling that you find hard, why not draft your work on Word first and use the spellchecker? Then you can just cut and paste your work onto the blog.

  7. Govind says:

    Hi Ellie. I thought that this writing was really good; it was also very funny!! I like the way that you have used lots of level 5 punctuation such as :. I like how you have used different sentence types such as two pair sentence. I think you need to work on your spellings because I noticed a few mistakes! Overall, I LOVED IT!! 😀

Leave a Reply

HTML: You may use these tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>



Skip to toolbar