zoe 100 Word Challenge!

Shwwwww! Shwwwww!  Shwwwww! Shwwwww! The terrible, terrifying tornado lifted the cosy cottage from the ground and swirled it up into the dusty air! Fortunately nobody was inside the house. It whirled round as rapid as a cheetah, picking up every last little nook of the poor, small village and whenever it found a tiny object it would shred it to pieces and gobble it up!

 

Meanwhile, the cottage was spiralling downwards. Thud! The whole town was dropped! As a result of the town being plunged towards the ground, when it landed it looked upside down.  It took years to repair!

Category: 100WC
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2 Responses
  1. Mrs Hopkins says:

    Hi Zoe
    I do enjoy reading your work on here!
    * – the windy noises make a very interesting start to your work
    * – great alliteration and a good simile too. I also like the personification of the tornado (gobbling things up).
    W – well done for getting a good connective in but your ‘as a result’ sentence sounds a bit ‘clunky’ – can you tweak it to make it read better?

  2. Govind says:

    Well done Zoe.
    * You have used onomatopoeias.
    * You have varied your sentence length
    Wish : On SOME of the sentences, use a better opener other than ‘the’.
    Overall this piece of writing was very interesting to read. 😀

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