The Sinister box

Knock, knock…I opened the door cautiously being careful of who was behind it. Apprehensively I peered round the slight crack of the door; to find no one present. All that was left there was a small box with a bright pink bow on sitting atop like a thief in court! It stared at me longingly, waiting for me to just analyse what was inside! Something didn’t seem right about this! Something seemed sinister… I felt like a fool; it was just a plain box yet I was petrified of it! Something whirled around in me, urging me to open it…

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2 Responses
  1. Ellie W says:

    Thank you for my comment Mr Holder and I will work on that. That is also my target in my writing.

  2. Mr Holder says:

    Hi Ellie – I enjoyed your writing.

    * I love the variety of punctuation
    * Excellent vocabulary choces – apprehensively, longingly, petrified, sinister,
    * Personification – the box was staring at you, waiting to be opened
    Wish … Short sentences to build tension and suspense

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