The Only Dream!

Firstly, it started when winter appeared in 2006! When an 11 year old became a ballerina, but not any ordinary ballerina a Royal Ballet ballerina. There was a massive, decorated letter which was sent in the post. It looked like it was upside down…  It was scrunched up, there was a bite taken out of it.

Carefully and slowly, delicately and quietly, she stepped forward and opened the letter with excitement and joy. She opened it,  took one deep breath and then hoped that her only dream had just come true. Amazingly, She had been invited to dance with Aston…

Category: 100WC
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5 Responses
  1. Faye says:

    I have chosen this one to continue for the 500 word challenge! 🙂

  2. Mrs Hopkins says:

    Hi Faye
    I’ve got you writing about JLS all the time and Jack writing about ocelots! Strange pair!
    * – this starts off sounding like a beautiful fairy tale! Awww!
    * – your 2 pair sentence works really well to get across how she is feeling (what a disappointment to find out it was about Aston after all that build up!)
    W – I agree with the other comment – the ‘bite’ bit does need to be developed further.
    Does Aston wear a tutu when he dances? Or is he too busy biting holes in letters?

  3. Faye says:

    Thank you Laura and Fay.
    Do you know who Aston is?

    I hope I get to the top 10 showcase. I will try to include more information and connectives, openers.
    Thank you for replying I hope we can talk again soon.
    Bye Bye…

  4. Laura (Team 100WC) says:

    Hi Faye,
    I thought this was a beautiful piece of writing. I really enjoyed reading it. Your use of description was fantastic and created huge suspense and drama to your writing. Great effort! 🙂

  5. Fay (Team 100) says:

    Hi Faye,
    On the whole this is a brilliant story – you have managed to convey the suspense and the hope surrounding the letter and the dancer. You could maybe have written something more in keeping with the story, for instance: “With trembling fingers, she kept turning the envelope around before she dared to open it; she was so nervous that however she held it, it looked upside down.”. Alternatively, to follow through the ‘bite’ storyline you could have said there was a big hole just where Aston’s name should have been and she blamed the dog 🙂 Carefully and slowly, delicately and quietly worked really well (great writing) and I’m glad her dream came true…. Thanks for submitting this to the 100 word challenge. Well done!

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