The Ocelot Gang

I ran and fell but they couldn’t stop me, the angry packs of Ocelots were stampeding towards me.Suddenly they all pounced on me and I slumped to he ground.It looked upside down to me but I was hanging from my legs so that’s probably why. there was a huge,furry creature staring at me with its bright red eyes. It came closer to an Ocelot.Then its mouth got bigger and it crunched on the poor Ocelots body.And as it approached me I felt a cold,sharp shiver run down my spine, then its mouth grew bigger…HELP ME!!!

 

Category: 100WC
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2 Responses
  1. Mrs Hopkins says:

    Hi Jack
    More ocelots!
    * – you’ve used some great verbs in this. I like ‘stampeding’ and ‘slumped’
    * – effective use of capital letters for ‘help me’
    W – take more care with your punctuation!

  2. Miss Wells (Team 100wc) says:

    Hi Jack, well done for completing the 100 word challenge. What an exciting story, well done for using lot of description to describe what is going on. I like that you left the story on a cliff hanger, I wonder if help will arrive? Remember next time to read back through your writing to check you have included capital letters at the beginnings of all your sentences, I’m sure you can spot where one is needed. Keep up the super writing, I look forward to reading more.

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