The Mysterious Steps By Sophie

One day, I was on my own skipping happily in the forest, when I spotted two sets of steps. Suddenly a shiver rushed down my spine. All I could see was rocks, getting up and strolling around on the contaminated forest floor.  Having no clue where I was, or where the steps led to: I decided to pick the un-easy ones on the right. Tentatively tottering up the steps, I entered this mysterious doorway. It looked as if it was a dark and spooky cave. There were cob webs everywhere. “BOO” cried a mysterious voice. “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” I screamed with fear.

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3 Responses
  1. Mitchell says:

    Hi, here is two stars and a wish:
    * Good use of alliteration- as Mr H has pointed out.
    * Good use of commas and !
    Wish: Make sure you use a , ! ? … . before your end of speech like “BOO” would need to be “BOO!”

  2. Sophie says:

    Hi Mr Holder
    The phrase (tentatively tottering) I just came up with while I was writing it.
    And yes I forgot both sides of the colon need to make scence, both of the sides on mine don’t make scence.
    But next time I will definetly remember that!

  3. Mr Holder says:

    Hi Sophie I love the phrase ‘tentatively tottering’, where did you come up with that?
    Look carefully at your sentence with a : in it. Both sides need to be able to stand alone. Read each part before and after the : to check they both make sense on their own.

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