The mysterious box …. by Grace Evans

On the floor there lay a black mysterious box.  A florescent bow covered part of it leaving me feeling anxious to open it! A voice spoke “open me you know you want to.”  What if a miracle was happening, what if world war one  was going on! Dazzling sparks came of the box filling the room with happiness and laughter! This mysterious  wonder glared at me, hypnotising me with its beauty! What if there was thousands of glistening dimands waiting to be held. Or a breathtaking view of the crystal-clear, tropical sea. What could be in there? Shall i open it…

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2 Responses
  1. Ellie W says:

    Well done Grace , I can see you have worked hard on your writing here are my two stars and a wish:
    *You have created lots of suspense and it makes you think can you just open it I really need to know what is in there!
    *You have used a wide range of very good vocab
    WISH: You could try next time to use a more complex range of openers!

  2. Ross Mannell says:

    Hello Grace,

    This is a very well written entry, Grace. I liked your use of descriptive words to paint pictures in the mind of your readers. You have created a mystery and left the reader to wonder what might be inside. Well done. 🙂

    Just one question, did you open it? I’d go for the diamonds if I were to choose from your suggestions. With the happiness and laughter filling the room, being wealthy would be a bonus.

    Have you taken the opportunity to visit the entries of students from other schools? It is interesting to see how others have approached the prompt. Don’t forget to leave them a comment if you do visit. 🙂

    I hope you keep entering the 100WC. I can see you have a talent for writing.

    @RossMannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

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