The Mysterious Box by Dylan

As I meandered into the empty room,I stood as still as a statue,glaring, at a very strangeattractive looking box.It was enchanting and its mystery drew me.

Should I take it,or should I leave it?When I started to get close to this mysterious box,I thought to myself-a million pounds?,a monster?,an unknown microbe?What could be existing in this box?

I muttered to myself.If I get a million poundsin that box,my life will be changed forever!If its a monster or a deadly disease that comes out,I will be like Pandora,and I will never forgive myself!

At that moment I couldnt wait any longer-I ripped open the box and I saw…….

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4 Responses
  1. Rob says:

    Dylan, you have done an excellent job building suspence in your story. I really enjoyed how you used words such as ‘meandered’, and your ending left want wanting to read more.

    Well done on a very good job.

  2. Lydia says:

    Wow Dylan! You have used some really imaginative vocabulary and have really built suspense! I really like your use of questionning and the curiousity that you have built at the end with the cliffhanger- I really want to know what was inside the box!

    Where did you get the idea for this piece?

  3. Kathy @ Team 100WC says:

    Dylan you did an excellent job in writing your story with an air of mystery and suspense. I also loved the great words you used, such as meandering and enchanting – good use of descriptive words to add to your story. A wonderful story, and keep up the good work on the 100WC.

  4. Daniel says:

    Well done on using lots of imaginative words throughout your 100WC, remember to check your punctuation.

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