The Forbidden Place!

Once upon a time there was a boy called Tom, his favourite thing to do was play football. Tom usually played with his friend Albert, who was a fantastic player but hated loosing. One chilly Saturday morning the boys went to South Park, the field with the proper goal posts! Unfortunately the ball jumped over the fence into a forbidding garden with a fearsome looking house. There was something in the window, looked like an upside down face, was it a man, woman or beast?  Tom gingerly knocked on the door; a cat screeched there was a clatter of movement!!.

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3 Responses
  1. Ross St. John Vianney, USA says:

    Great Job, Abbie. I liked that tom and albert like football, because I like football. Great job, describing everything.

    Keep up the good work!

  2. Brianna J (WI,USA) St.John Vianney says:

    This is a great piece of writing. I really liked it. It was very descriptive. I liked the cliff hanger.

    I hope you keep up the good work.

  3. Chris says:

    Well done, Abbie!
    Your work was very descriptive – I particularly like forbidding, fearsome, gingerly and clatter.
    You build up the writing very well and have a great cliffhanger.

    Keep up the good work!

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