It was a new start… by Isobel Fisher

It was a new start for all of us. It was my first day at secondry school,no one else wanted to go to the same school as me! But that didnt matter, i could make new friends i thought to myself. Not only been excited i was terryfied at the same time,  what if no one wanted to be my friend? I quesitioned myself. I just got split  in to my form ,there seemed some very nice people, I am in Summery. As the day went along i managed to meet a a girl called Amelia. She too had trouble finding friends and seemed lost so I  decided to help her…

Category: 100WC
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3 Responses
  1. Jack says:

    that was a good piece of work because…
    .there was good puctuation use during the end bit
    .there was effect like it said you were scared and excited at the same time
    wish.try to use more sentence types like de:de or two pair

    😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

  2. Alex says:

    well done you have used commers and questions

  3. Mrs Hopkins says:

    Hi Isobel
    Well, this makes a change from all of the New Year ones! I wasn’t expecting this but I really like the idea!
    * – well done for using a variety of different sentence openers – this does make it more interesting for the reader.
    * – I like the way you have managed to get quite a variety of punctuation marks in too – quite a challenge in a short piece of work.
    W – try to remember not to join different sentences with commas – give it a full stop or use a connective.

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