Homework task – 100 word challenge 27.11.12

This week we want you to describe this scene. Try to use the sentence tricks we’ve been looking at in school. Click on the photo for a better view.

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88 Responses
  1. arthursc1 says:

    Hi Mrs Hopkins this is just me Caitlin from 3G and I wanted to look at some of the children’s work and I think it will be fab.

  2. dylan says:

    well done lucy r , you really worked hard on this,
    here are my 2 stars and a wish:
    *good use of similes and metaphors
    *good use of colons
    wish:try to use a couple more sentence tricks e.g some;other,2 pair and personification

    apart from that,exellant and very well done:D

  3. Lucy S says:

    Below my feet were loads of colourful sky scrapers,they stared at me as if i had done something wrong!Then suddenly all the lights started to come on they were blinding my eyes they were just like torches!Every person who walked along the streets of hong hong got blinded .In the middle of the landscape was a lovley flowing lake it looked brilliant!The lack seemed to go on for ever now and then a boat would drift past .slowly i looked up at the liqurise black sky and it was filled with twinkeling star it was amazing!

    • Govind says:

      Well done Lucy. Here are you stars and wish :
      * You used personification.
      * You used a simile.
      Wish : Try and use a some; others sentence
      This was a really good piece of writing.

  4. Callum says:

    Towering buildings are giants scrutinising my every move. A kaleidoscope of luminous colours filled the immense sky. Furthermore, a magnificent light show would be put on every night. Skyscrapers lit up the gleaming ripples of the water. Hotels belting tunes out such as gangman style by PSY. Perky motorways full of cars wizzing up and down. Hundreds of ships in the far harbour. Thousands of citizens going to the pub getting drunk. Houses in the misty background standing tall and proud. Humble people swiftly walking in and out massive shops. The houses is a full grown tree in the park.

    • Oliver says:

      I enjoyed reading this.
      Star: Alot of detail.
      Star: good description.
      Wish: A little to much to listy.

  5. Georgina says:

    In the dark dim Hong Kong city with hundreds of colossal sky scrapers was a collage of glimmering bright lights scattered around the frantic city .Beside the sky scrapers was a de-formed meandering river which had a luminous re-flection of a huge group of gigantic buildings .Only a few boats were sailing across the river as it was midnight . Then all of a sudden the whole cityโ€™s lights switched of like a wizard had snapped his fingers and made them turn off plunging everything into pitch black darkness. I stood there saying to myself were should I goโ€ฆ

    by Georgina Gritton 6H

    • Rachel says:

      Hi georgina, your work is amazing and your use of vocab is really cool

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Georgina
      Another lovely piece of work.
      * – I like the alliteration – dark dim works well
      * – The sudden switching off of the lights has a good impact too
      W – remember commas between adjectives and why was the river deformed?

    • Georgina says:

      okay i will try and explain why what was what for you next time and thank you xxx

      thanks Rachel for your comment xxx its realy nice of you

  6. Zoe says:

    Itโ€™s spectacular! Especially lively during night time with colossal skyscrapers and blinding lights everywhere the city of Hong Kong is brilliant.
    There are huge buildings that catch your eye with every step you take. As a result of the magnificent place being crowded, what meets the eye looks very small, whilst standing there you feel insignificant!
    If you look into the distance all you can see is glowing lights shining brightly. The deep, flowing river seems never ending furthermore the surroundings of the whole city are beautiful! The city of Hong Kong is sublime and radiant!

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Zoe
      * – well done for getting some great connectives into your work
      * – your vocab is excellent too
      W – Just be a little more careful with where you need punctuation marks

  7. Oliver says:

    Never sleeping, the towers and skyscrapers reach for the stars. Lit-up like Christmas trees, they huddle in the dark, foggy night. Streets meet, and the river passes by while the high-speed train winds its way like larva, through the city. The view is as beautiful and long-lasting as golden treasure.

    • Callum says:

      I enjoyed your work, Oliver
      *good use of comparing things to an other
      *good punctuation
      Wish: try to use 100 words

  8. Jack says:

    Sorry that was terrible.

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      No it wasn’t at all. I genuinely like the fact that you put your own spin on things but you should try to read your instructions more carefully! There are some great ideas in your work!

  9. Jack says:

    Skyscrapers so high they can touch the clouds.
    Towers as thin as a french fry chip.
    As the window howls with the wind the traffic gets bigger like a lego tower.
    The town lights up like the moon on a summers night.
    The towers and buildings so bright with yellow they look like Ocelots.
    Eventhough the glowing city is blinding the sky floats above in gluttony.
    So many buildings shining like stars in the sky.
    The sky looking down on the city is filled with sheep like clouds.
    Air so thick youy could cut it with a pointy knife.

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Jack
      I can see that you’ve done this your own way (again!). I can’t believe you’ve got ocelots into this!
      * – excellent use of similes – they really help build pictures in the reader’s head
      * the personification works very well too
      W – try to remember the comma when you start with a connective

  10. Alex H says:

    Massive skyscrapers guarded the city like a police man patrolling the land. Bright lights shimmered like lightning as I swiftly looked at the massive city. The sky was as foggy as a barren ghost town, since it was midnight. Proud and tall, brave and strong the city stood silently. Millions of skyscrapers were standing before my ever-gazing eyes. Some people would jump at the idea of moving to Hong Kong; others would not. So many lights were sat in front of me that I could not count them all. How much energy are Hong Kong wasting? It looked so immense.

    By Alex H ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Govind says:

    Sitting on the top floor in Hong Kong’s tallest skycraper, I stared at the wonderful view through the huge window. Lights of many buildings were like an array of shimmering stars entertaing the eyes of many creatures. Some people had their lights on; others weren’t using theirs. Skyscrapers covered the land: some big; others small. Different colours shone through the windows of many towers – pink, blue, yellow and lots more. The water was like a mirror showing the reflection of the collosal towers near the coast. The buildings were formed in all kinds of shapes. This experience was unforgetable!

    • Lucy S says:

      Hi goving your work is really good here are two stars and a wish:
      You used a some others sentance
      You used a simili
      Your wish is to you other different sentance types such as a metafor.
      WELL DONE !it was a really exciting bit of writting!

  12. holly says:

    Great work Alex!
    Here are my 2 stars and a wish
    star:you used some level 5 punctuation
    star:you used a simile
    wish:next time try to fit in some conectives

  13. Corben says:

    Thousands of sky scrapers were an army towering over the defenceless city. The night sky as black as coal stretched over the un measurable as the stars scrutinized down on all man-kind. The river was calm and deep as it was almost silent. Lights were spread over the sky scrapers as if they had been seeds that a giant scattered. It was so colourful it was as if a rainbow had been shattered over the city. The misty city was almost unrecognisable. Some people had been to Hong Kong; others have wanted to go but havenโ€™t had the chance.

    by Corben Shaw

    • Mitchell says:

      Well Done Corben a great piece of work:

      * You used a Some;Others sentence trick
      *I like how you described the sky scrapers to a army towering over the defenceless city.
      My wish is to use more level 5 puntuation

  14. Georgia says:

    It was a cold November night. I gazed out my penthouse window. What an amazing sight. Buildings standing tall, disappearing in to the dark,dusky sky. LIights sparkling like twinkling stars from the cars driving very slowly beneath me in the rush hour traffic. Beyond the jungle of skyscrapes and tall,elegant and alight buildings I can see the ice cold river, with just a few boats drifting through calmlly and peaceful through the city which never sleeps. In my warm bedroom all I can hear is silence, I am so high up in the sky with the moon and stars.

  15. Elliot says:

    The skyscrapers shoot up into the gloomy sky whilst being tickled by the candy floss like clouds that watch over Hong Kong like God watching over the world. The lights were flickering like a fire on a cold winters night. BEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEP, cars were wildly beeping like an alarm clock in the early hours of the morning. The shining, sparkling and twinkling stars were like diamonds scattered across velvet. The river meanders through the dazzling town like a slithering snake. One skyscraper stand out above the rest, its light is pointing to the gleaming, glinting and luminous moon.

    By Elliot ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Elliot
      * – I like the comparison between between the clouds and god watching over things
      * – Your personification is very effective
      W – you’ve used commas in lists but try to use them for clauses too

  16. Jayden says:

    The sky shone like a beautiful sunset at night. Wow! What a view from the top of the hills. Is there anywhere better than this? I wonder in happyness if I will ever visit this beautiful country again. As i sit on the collosal hills, I cant figure out where the brightness ends in this commendable city.
    Can there be a place more bright and colourful than Hong Kong? Slowly and steadily i carefully checked if the skyscrapers were as tall as the sky and the buildings were as high as the towers.
    I watch the lovely sun suddenly go down but I still feel cheerfull and very content..

    • Elliot says:

      My 2* and a wish for yayden
      *Like the use of questions
      *I like commendable
      Wish: Use better openers
      Overall brilliant ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ™‚ :] :]

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Jayden
      * – I really like the questions you have used here – they get the reader involved well
      * – ‘Slowly and steadily’ is a good opener
      W – Just be more careful with capitals for I and apostrophes for contractions

  17. Abbi says:

    The colossal buildings were towered as high as the misty sky. The buildings had bright lights that were scattered all over the city like ashes. The streets roared as the rushing cars and bikes passed by. I thought how could this city be so beautiful but not been recognized. The buildings were all different shape s which made then unique in different ways. The clear blue sea rippled down the sea crashing on the rocks. The compact buildings were so close to the sea you had to be careful to that when you walked passed them to not fall in.

    • Faye says:

      Fantastic piece of work Abbi.:)

      *Good discription, of the MAJORITY of words that you have been using.
      *like how you said (The clear blue sea rippled down the sea crashing on the rocks) I felt like i was there and i had a picture of it in my head.
      WISH: Try to use level 5 punctuation (harder)
      ๐Ÿ™‚ well done

    • Zoe says:

      Well done Abbi, this is brilliant!
      *I like your comparison.
      *You’ve used some fantastic vocabulary!
      W- Try to vary your sentence lenghth and use some better openers.
      Overall this is lovely work!

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Abbi
      Have you checked this through? As usual your ideas are lovely but there are careless errors here.
      * – you’ve used some good vocab
      * – good use of similes – I like ‘scattered like ashes’
      W – Take the time to check your work to make it as good as it can be!

  18. Isobel says:

    Hong kong

    There were thoughands of sky scrapers as tightly packed like a tin of sardeens,that runs along side the river
    that meanders into all the nocks and cranys.But on top of the bildings they have hundreds of blinding lights
    and when they were all put together it is a beautiful aray of colours .also ech bilding has an intrecut desine on like : cheacherd,stripy .

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Isobel
      * – great vocab – I like ‘meanders’ and ‘intricate’
      * – Well done for using a simile (like a tin of sardines). It does help the reader picture just how close togther they are
      W – have you checked this through? Some of these sentences don’t read quite right.

  19. Grace says:

    Th towers are giants, towering over the defenceless city. Gracefull and tall, collosal and gigantic, the buildings stood glancing over the breath – taking view! As proud as a trophy they stood watching any intruders ( who ever they are) who passed by. Bright flashing lights glistened in the moon -lit , liquorish sky! The beautiful, sea overlooked the people watching there every moveโ€ฆ Carefully the birds swooped and wooshed down to the loud vehicles. The roads were jam packed and crowded with rushing people dashing in between each other. Tall sky scrappers beamed at me with there threatening eyes.

    • Joseph says:

      Good work, very descriptive. Here are my stars and wish’s :

      *Brilliant use of vocabulary

      *Excelent use of puntuation

      WISH: Use more interesting openers

      WISH: Use some more sentence types

      I hope you agree with my wish’s and stars. ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. georgiah says:

    The lights shone in my eyes, the view was amazing, i couldn’t believe it. The towers all in one group like a group of soldiers. It felt like every single light was on in this magnificent city, making it look like a beautiful christmas setting.

    All the roads weaving around the skyscraping buildings like a never ending snake. In the distance the same city was as bright as ever but the mist covered the incredible site. Imagining the hustle and bustle of this city that never sleeps.

    Thousands of tiny people populating each building like ants in their mighty colonies.

    • Alex H says:

      * well done you maneged to drop in a couple of exellent clauses.

      * You used impressive adjectives.

      Wish: Try to use more L5 punctuation.

      Besides that, fantastic! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Georgia
      * – your descriptions are very effective – I like the comparisons with Christmas and the snake
      * – well done for using a comma for a clause
      W – have you checked this through? There are some missing words here (words like ‘were’ are important).

  21. Faye says:

    It had just struck midnight and all of the lights were still glistening like disco balls suspended in the glowing blue sky. It was a crisp dark sky: all hearts are captured by the sensational view from every window. Even though it is dark it doesnโ€™t mean that there is no happiness surrounding every skyscraper. The river, which was gracefully flowing like an elegant ballerina, displayed rippling reflections of boats and lights. The detailed buildings are standing high like a proud Olympian. Unfortunately the city is so crowded that the towering skyscrapers are cramped together like sardines in a tin.

    By Faye ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Faye
      This is a great piece of work – well done superstar!
      * – great use of similes to help the reader picture the scene
      * – You’ve also used connectives as openers and clauses
      W – as you’ve been clever enough to use a colon, could you try to get a full range of punctuation in next time?

  22. ellie says:

    I was siting by the balcony looking at the glisserning moon and shining stars they were by the misty,murky sky.There were bright coloured luminous lights all over the place.It was a fantastic sight.It suddenly went quite it was a peaceful moment.I could see the city sparkle.The swaying lake was refflecting the massive city like a mirror.The trafic was snake like.The windows of the buildings were shiny also you could see what was on the opersit side.Then i saw the aurtum trees they were beutiful.It was amazing to watch the sun come down.I just remembered that it was Hong Kong.

    • Amber says:

      Well done Ellie very descriptive here is my stars and a wish:

      STAR: You used a different word than bright

      STAR: You described the setting

      WISH: Try to use level 5 punctuation in your next 100 word challenge

      Amber M

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Ellie
      Well done for managing to get this on here this week.
      * – well done for using a simile
      * – You’ve also used some great words – I love ‘luminous’ and ‘misty, murky’
      W – try to use some more interesting openers – there are lots of ‘the’s here

  23. Alex sh says:

    Magnificently stand the colossal skyscrapers of Hong Kong, cutting into the misty, murky, skyline. Amazingly the beautifully bright buildings reach up to the sky like giant beanstalks piercing and slithering their way up through the clouds towards the stars above and beyond. From the ground they look like giants looking down menacingly at the thousands of people milling about the city, going about their everyday business. From the eyes of the skyscrapers, the masses of people look like ants in a colony. In the distance the many fishing vessels appear as if they are sea monsters swimming towards the shore.

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Alex
      Alex, this is super!
      * – your openers are great – well done for using ‘ly’ words
      * – you’ve used commas for clauses
      * – I also love the simile about the beanstalks!
      W – try not to repeat the opener in the next sentence (x2 froms)

  24. lucy r says:

    Standing by a tree looking down at the buildings wich are as tall as a snow capped mountain. All i could hear was the sound of wolfs howling at midnight. The bright lights are shooting stars in the dark night sky. There are different shapes of buildings like: a cone shaped building, a building with a hut on top of it and some flats with points on the top of it. This was the only city that iknow has a giant river the size of a country.

    This massive cityis the capital of china it suffers badly from pollution.

  25. Joshua says:

    Wow, I thought as I gazed across the vast sea of immeasurable skyscrapers, as bright as diamonds they lit up the misty night sky while gaurding the enormous river.Curious and perplexed, excited and amazed I cautiously wondered into Beijing.I was unsure: there were enormous crowds of eager pushy people.Beautiful water fountains shot thousands of litres of water into the high up in the air near the deep dark river.The gloomy outlines of miniscule fish swam to the snake like reeds near the bottom.Some people love Beijing; others think it’s crowded.Wow again, Hong Kong is a fantastic place!

    • jake says:

      Well what can I say!

      Star: Fantastic descriptiions: The gloomy outlines of miniscule fish swam to the snake like reeds near the bottom. Wow
      Star:Brillant choice of vocab.
      I think I want to go there. Great work keep up the good work mate.

  26. Ellie W says:

    Sitting on the bank watching the night sky drifting over the land felt almost peaceful. Some people love analysing the inky black sky and watching the icy stars twinkle; others prefer to be in the throng and experience it from the inside. Immense skyscrapers towered over the bustling roads of Hong Kong, as if they were studying each and every person that dared walk the streets. Luminous lights gleamed over the whole city dazzling the naked eye. Peacefully hiding behind the giant skyscrapers was a majestic river: dyed liquorice black by the moonlit sky. This whole experience had been wonderful.

  27. jake says:

    The View of Hong Kong

    Buildings tall and proud, like giants guarding the waters beneath. The city is alive with lights: do they ever turn off? I very much doubt it! Amazed and excited, busy and loud, thousands live surrounded by massive skyscrapers. The mist smoothers Hong Kong, it cruises, swirls above the city like a glowing bulb. Buzzing like a bee, weaving in and out, a city that never sleeps: I say not! Some people live in short buildings, others don’t. Tall, short, fat or thin – which building shall I go in?
    Yellow, white, red and green, which light reflects the sky tonight?

    • Joshua says:

      Well done Jake you did a really good description of Hong Kong here are my two stars and a wish:
      *You did a fantastic range of punctuation.
      *You did a simile, de:de and a choice question.
      wish:Try to use more connectives.

  28. Mitchell says:

    As I roamed through the streets of Hong Kong I was astonished by the colossal buildings surrounding the city: some people consider Hong Kongโ€™s skylines the biggest in the world; others donโ€™t even know about it… Does this city ever sleep? The streets are crowded with city life, like it should be, in a city this magnificent! When I looked into the marine I could see the eye-catching boats touring around the island like fish exploring new areas of the sea. The mesmerizing buildings gazed over the hi-tech city with its radiant lights shining a view I will never forget.

  29. Amber says:

    I was sitting in a chair while looking at the midnight blue sky glowing with the moons reflection. I saw colossal buildings standing straight like a tall giant guarding a castle. All that i could hear were horns and sirens BLARING1 out around the city! I fell in love with the bright lights that shone in the sky .I thought i was dreaming but i wasn`t i was in a popular city that have famous people.There was only one city i knew that had huge buildings, with noise like this and that city was… New York. I was in heaven.

    Amber M

    • Ellie W says:

      Amber I love your writing it was so good
      *Great vocab choices
      *lovely use of personification
      WISH: remember to use a capital letter for I

  30. Thomas says:

    The swaying traffic swerved aggressively around the snake like bends as, the civilization were admiring the vast coast that stretched over to another crowded city,it was so big:it could tower on top of the landmarks!As the illuminating light of the buildings shone upon the sky,the neon towers stood out like a footballer in odd clothing!

    Increasingly, the misty sky darkened whilst precious time passed,for the public wasted time carelessly.At the right of the city, the crane like structure lay in the empty spot depressingly ,as if it was left out from the view of spectacular monuments,could that be me?

    104 words by tom j

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Tom
      * – great use of personification – the traffic swerving aggressively works well
      * – you’ve also used some good openers (I particulary like ‘increasingly’)
      W – have you checked this through? Some parts of this don’t read quite right.

  31. Sophie says:

    Flying in an aeroplane just about to land, all I could see were skyscrapers that were giants guarding the city. Some people think the lights are wonderful; others think they are boring. I couldnโ€™t actually see the road because it was covered in tall buildings and cars that looked like moving dots of light. The river was like a mirror reflecting the city which was glistening in the moonlight. I wondered if I could live in one of those skyscrapers. WOOSH! The door opened I could feel the wind was wrapping round me, while I was admiring the beautiful view.

    • Daniel says:

      Hong Kong stood still like a star on a dark gloomy night. Its sky scrapers breaking the atmosphere and clouds. They are like luminous creatures standing still in the harsh winds from above. I could hear the river rushing past like a Ferrari in a race for life and death. The roads lit up from the millions of cars racing across from street to street. Boats sailed across the sea like sharks in a pursuit for food. The boat created foam like a machine that was made to do so.It is one of the most popular places in the world.
      By Daniel ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Adam says:

      welldone sophie.
      star: good metphor
      star: good use of ;
      wish:try and use a de:de sentence

  32. Abbie says:

    This is the Honk Kong Skyline famous for its iconic buildings set before a majestic Victoria Peak. The buildings tower above the streets as people carry on living their lives and partying. The lights light up like fireworks all over the city, under the lickerish black sky.
    The parade of buildings is an amazing formation some reach up into the sky while others appear to hide in foggy shadows. Each structure explodes into a symphony of lights, a glittering wonderland that captivates you and takes you away to a special place.
    Hong Kong would be lost without its beating heart.

    • Ben says:

      Hi Abbie great work ๐Ÿ™‚ these are my 2 *’s and a wish:

      * Brilliant use of adjectives.

      * I love the phrase ‘Hong Kong would be lost without its beating heart’.

      Wish: Use L5 punctuation.

      But overall fabulous work from Ben ๐Ÿ™‚

  33. Harriet says:

    Sitting next to my friend gazing over the skyscrapers is the best. The moon hung in the sky as if it was a helium balloon. I heard a sound; it was a pack of dogs deafening howl, which pierced the rushing traffic that we had been hearing for the last ten minutes. The colourful lights blinded my eyes as I slowly looked over the city. From where I was sitting you could see the water glistening as it tried to make waves but couldn’t. Having my friend shut up for once was brilliant, as she did the same as me.

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Harriet
      I can just imagine you sitting there with a really talkative friend!
      * – well done for pushing yourself to use a range of punctuation
      * – the helium balloon bit is a great simile
      W – could you improve ‘sitting’ and ‘looking’?

  34. Ben says:

    My Homework by Ben

    Proudly, the sky scrapers stood tall as giants guarding the vibrant city. Up, down, left or right which way should I look the vivid lights are everywhere? A peaceful lake sleeps quietly behind the immense city using the array of wonderful colours as a nightlight. How do they power this place I thought, some people know; others can only wonder. A greasy aroma fills the air as the locals munch on a unhealthy burger! A grand temple perches on a golden sandy beach in the distant horizon. Sharp pointy daggers stab the murky liquorice black sky.

    • Abbie says:

      Hello Ben fabulous peace of work well done.These are your two stars and a wish.
      star: good use of personification.
      star: I liked the phrase sharp pointy daggers stab the murky liquorice black sky.
      wish: next time try to use some : and a few more ;
      That was brilliant

  35. Joseph says:

    The lights were like stars gazing down upon the great murky harbour. Tourists would gaze at the skyscrapers for hours, amazed at the colossal size of each tower. Others would just walk on by, seeing them every day; they no longer create an interest. Thousands of minute lights shone brightly from the hundreds of skyscrapers bunched together in the bustling city, full of busy people. The colours of the lights looked like every colour in a rainbow (and many other colours): which lit up the entire land. The lights, colours, towers and the people โ€“ all together created an electric atmosphere.

    • Grace says:

      Well done Joseph a great peice of work.
      # i like that you used a list.
      # i also like that you used gazing instead of looked.

      WISH:You could use some more interesting openers! ๐Ÿ™‚

  36. Liam says:

    I opened my eyes and peered out the aeroplane window, firstly I notice the amount of lights shimmering and glinting against the misty night-time sky. The skyscrapers tower above microscopic cars. I continue staring out of the window my eyes are as big as saucers I see the boats drifting over the water: lying still like silk. I notice the lights in the windows are dotted around like bees swarming and buzzing around the luminous city. Even though the view is amazing I am excited as well as nervous, I donโ€™t understand why Dad has taken up this new job.

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Liam
      I like the aeroplane idea – well done!
      * – saying the lights were ‘like bees swarming and buzzing’ works well
      * – I’m glad to see you getting a colon into your work
      W – keep an eye on your tenses – you jump about a bit!

  37. holly says:

    The lights went on for as far as i could see!The dazzling lights blinded me as i stared at them up on a cliff top.The gigantic buildings were giants watching over the sleeping city as nightfall fell.Some people love the lightness of the city;others can’t stand the brightness.There is so much light that it lights up nearly the whole city!There are so many colours that come from inside the massive buildings! Because it was dark the buildings look like chimneys rising out of the ground! The sky was turning into a licorice black colour!

    • Alex M says:

      Great work Holly these are my two stars and a wish:
      Good phrases like dazzerling lights.
      Great simile,like giants,.
      Maybe use a choise question aswell, you could say: Red, blue, yellow- what other colous were there?
      Great work Holly keep it up.

  38. Rachel says:

    The glistening moon and the frosted stars lingered over the bubbling city, casting their silvery light onto the skyscrapers that were coated in a billion lights. My astonished heart thumped like the worlds loudest drums as I wandered through the electric streets. A scent of Asian cooking from a nearby stand filled the air with the most delightful scents of chilli, noodles, dumpling and spices. My sweating hand reached out to touch the crystal water of a lily pond. Silk like water rolled of my fingers like a child slipping of an ice rink. I was sweltering from the atmosphere.:}

    • Thomas says:

      good work Rachel
      *good use of vocab
      * excellent connectives
      Wish:describe more of the monuments

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Rachel
      * – what an excellent 1st sentence! I particularly like ‘lingering’
      * – good use of similes too
      W – remember to use a range of punctuation next time

    • Georgina says:

      AMAZING work Rachel it was fab i love the 1 st sentence im amazied

  39. Alex M says:

    I had just woke up we were about to land at the Airport when I thought to myself what a lovely view. The huge skyscrapers were like giants standing tall and proud! The lights were eyes glaring at me non-stop and the crowded streets were like the tide in the sea. A hour later I was sitting on the bench outside the airport thinking what to do next-go on a boat trip along the long, windy river or go on a tour around the skyscrapers โ€“what should I do next? I will consider further while I will enjoy my muffin.


  40. Alex says:

    Wow!! what an amazing city.So bright that I can see the city sparkle.The skyscrapers are as tall as jacks gaint beanstallk almost tickling the stars.The water in the harber is as clear as glass, reflecting the lights and massive buildings.The impression i get from this magnificent image is that it is very busy with lots of hustle and bustle, and very loud with traffic noise and people chatting, laughing and enjoying their evening.The air would be filled with a sence of fun and excitment.I would really like to visit this fantactic city one day.

    • Mrs Hopkins says:

      Hi Alex
      You always put so much effort into your homework!
      * – I like the idea of the buildings tickling the stars!
      * – well done for thinking about the sounds you would hear as well as what you can see
      W – take the time to check through your work to spot little errors

  41. Mr Porter says:

    Slowly,surely and steadily the city responds to the impending darkness. Tower blocks that seem to reach out to the sky like fingers on hands begin to shed light of varying colours into the night sky-one can only imagine the kalaidescopic patterns to be seen from high above.
    Smoothly weaving it’s way through the city like a slithering snake in the jungle is the river. Dark, deep and fast flowing it carries ships and bobbing boats on a wide spectrum of journeys. People spying on the city, goods ferried across; the river allows the ebb and flow of all.

    • Faye says:

      Wow fantastic piece of work as usual.

      *Good discription it was like flying through the sky as you were describing.
      *Good similies.
      WISH:Try to upgrade your sentences.
      faye ๐Ÿ™‚

  42. dylan says:

    The glow-the warmth-the energy.The night sky lit like a row of fireworks ready to explode in the ligourice sky!It excites me,I wonder what power it must take tomake such a magnificant display who built them?who was so clever to create such a wonderful sight that warms my heart.Some people have seen a fantastic skyscraper view ; others haven’t been lucky enough to even spot one!

    Hong Kong – busy clever and unique-the centre of culture-the centre of technology.Electric genuis-computer energies glow in the outstanding night sky!How many people live in this city to make it so alive in the night ,1m,2m or even 8.5m – I don’t know , it fills me with wonder – but the question on my mind and every body elses,does it sleep in the day time?

    • lucy r says:

      Good job Dylan. Here are two stars and a whish:

      * i like how you’ed used the glow-the warmth-the energy
      * good uuse of puntucation
      Whish: try to use a metaphor ๐Ÿ˜€

  43. Adam says:

    Sitting on the top of a hill admiring the view & wow what a view it is! There are collosal giants staring at me. there is a array of differnet colours shining brightly in my eyes.How much electricity do they use & how many people live here ? The lights go on for as far as my eyes can see. I could here the wind whistling in a gentel tune. Some people think it is a big city ; others think its just like any other city. The lights are really bright : they can light up the whole of the city.

    • Sophie says:

      Well Done Adam
      Here are my two stars and a wish
      * Good use of : ;
      * I like how you have started with some nice background information
      WISH: Try and use a simile, metaphor or a two pair scentence

    • Adam says:

      i’ve alredy used a metphor I will tell you it now .There are collosal giants staring at me.

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