Georgia Hughes 100WC

Where was I at that time? It seemed like I was just dumped in the middle of nowhere. Oh now I remember. It was a muddy, leafy forest with some rather abnormal swaying trees. My mind was daring me to go up the cobbled stairs but I wouldn’t. The grass swayed to the beat of the wind like it was doing a dance. Robins and black birds sang like they were at a singing contest. Eventually, the last thing I heard was the trees cracked and whistled as the strong, powerful wind dodged the solid branches.

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4 Responses
  1. Reece says:

    Wow i like the way you have said the trees are trying to dodge the branchies and the grass was swaying to a rythem beat well done.

  2. Georgina says:

    Amazing work Georgia
    i love how you have started the first sentance with a question .I also like you adjective abnormal .What i really do like is how you are sayingb the story its like you are writting a diary . I also like your similey. You have used a few short sentances wich i also like .I love this peace of work alot but my wish is something in your last sentance check through it and see what you might have done wrong

  3. Alex says:

    well done

    you have used some commers

    I like the way you used swaying in the brees

    next time try to put some more powerfull adjectives and nouns

  4. Ross Mannell says:

    Dear Georgia,

    This is wonderful descriptive writing, Georgia. You have used similes to further enhance the images your readers build in their minds.

    Words and how we use them have a very important impact on those reading them. “The grass swayed to the beat of the wind like it was doing a dance” made me think of fields covered in grass blown by the wind making the blades dance this way and that. Had you simply said “The wind made the grass move” the image would have been weak. Well done! 🙂

    I hope you keep entering the 100WC.

    @RossMannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

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