100 wc by Rachel

 I woke up this morning to an explosion of chilling frost coating our holiday caravan and the rest of the messy green garden. Parched and hungry , craving and dribbling , I found myself running down the stairs even though my eyes were still heavy. Carefully, I poured my self a bowl milk and cereal when mom walked in and explained that she was on a new diet…oh no! This is the third one since Monday ! Dad marched in complaining about the frost and how it had froze the car doors shut! The old goat is always complaining: he never stops. I guess that’s that.

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3 Responses
  1. Adam says:

    Welldone Rachel
    * I like how you started it
    * you used the words that you had to
    W-use level5 punctuation

  2. Faye says:

    Good piece of work Rachel. 🙂 Here are my two stars and a wish.

    *. You have used … and , and ! and also . :.
    *. Yu have used what you were asked to use (frost, green, caravan, heavy, running)
    WISH: Read through to check your work for any errors.
    Apart from that then an amazing piece of work Rachel. Well done 🙂

  3. Mrs Hopkins says:

    Hi Rachel
    * – I love the ‘explosion’ of frost! It sounds very dramatic!
    * – good de:de sentence too
    W – just check your grammar – it had ‘froze’? What should that really be?

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